I know it has been a few weeks since I last posted, but trust me, I’m a blogger.
It really isn’t my fault. I was abducted by aliens. No, seriously. It was a mistake; they mistook me for an ultragalactic criminal by the name of Ghatchoomi (or something like that; they kept looking at me and saying [with a scruffy voice] “You, Ghatchoomi?”). During the night, while I was sleeping, peacefully dreaming about the next sequence of events to write in my fictitious autobiography, they snatched me. Sadly, I have lost all memory of that night’s events and the autobiography was put on a backburner (literally, all those words have been burned and it may take many more years til I can think of interesting stories to fill it with).
When I awoke, I was sitting on this exotic beachside, beneath an orange sky. Beside me were two slug-like creatures waving fans.I was tied down to the chair, and a three legged eukaryote was standing in front of me snacking on something that looked like purple cracker jacks. He was munching on them as if he’d die without them. He looked me straight in the face and kept yelling at me “You, Ghatchoomi?”. He did this like a thousand times (somebody kept bringing him more of those “cracker jacks” every five minutes or so.
This went on for a few days, until one dark orange day it stopped. They untied me, said something I couldn’t comprehend, and then they took off in their spaceship. For the next few days I was living off rocks; they were soft and juicy inside, sort of a fruit, and the beach was littered with them. One day this eukaryote came back and stared at me and said (with a much softer tone then I was used to) “You, not Ghatchoomi”). Everything went black and three mornings ago I woke up in my bed.
The ultragalactic force that abducted me are probably interrogating Ghatchoomi as we speak. I wonder what his crime was. I blame his/her mother/father for issuing him such a criminal name. I, luckily, am not Ghatchoomi.
Like I said; I am not to blame for this break that I was forced to take from the blogosphere, the aliens are.